Cephiran High Schoolers
by SchizoCheese
Summary: A story of high-school seniors 17 years but with a Rayearth twist. DISCONTINUED; FOR ARCHIVAL PURPOSES ONLY.
1. Arrival

Disclaimer: I want CLAMP for Christmas, mommy!  
  
~Chapter 1: Arrival~  
  
"Oh, rats, this isn't going to work," groaned Clef, snapping the book shut. He glared fiercely at the cover. "Romeo and Juliet – Original Tale my butt," he muttered, getting up from his chair and striding to a shelf. He was in the library trying to do a book report. His cousin, Umi, was supposed to be coming in today to help him. Presea, his older sister, was in the Junior College next door.  
  
Finally, he found a worn, tatty book labeled "Shakespeare's Plays" and decided it would have to do. Plumping into the cold library chair he opened the book, and tried to read the tiny cramped text of the contents page. He heard the noisy scraping of two chairs being pulled out. "Yo, Lantis, Eagle, about time," he said, without looking up. Eagle glanced at Lantis. "Told you he had sixth sense," he said cheekily. "Oh, shut up, Eagle," snapped Lantis, dropping a book onto the table with a *bam*. Clef looked up and frowned. "Do you have to do that?" he said. "It's already hard enough as it is to read this blasted thing; I'm having enough without you jiggling this table." "Touché," muttered Eagle, wandering off to find his own book to do a report on. Lantis held up the requirements of the book. " 'The book which you are reporting on must have death, romance and tragedy.' " He recited, in a high breathy voice like their English teacher. Clef sniggered.   
  
Fifteen eye-straining minutes later, Clef closed the book with a frustrated snap. Flicking his lavender hair out of his eyes he began pressing on his eyeballs. "Ugh…I see green stars." Lantis slid the book to him, took one look and blinked. "No wonder," he said. "This book's type is so small you could squeeze a whole chapter onto an ant's backside." "Thanks a ton, Lantis," Clef muttered.  
  
Eagle returned and saw Ferio coming in through the door. Ferio shot him a "shut-up" look and sat down opposite Clef. "Hey Fer-" Clef did a double take and almost fell off his chair. Lantis dropped his book on his own foot. "What the heck happened?" asked Clef. Ferio's hair was sticking up in odd directions and his hand was twitching. "D&T," replied Ferio simply. "The radio I was trying to fix electrocuted me." Eagle twitched. "Didja remember to unplug it?" Ferio was saved answering when Ascot sat down at the table. "Guess what? I got Melissa to go out with me on Saturday!" he said. Clef took his book back from Lantis and raised an eyebrow. "That's the *fifth* girl you asked," he said. Ascot snitched Clef's book away from him. "Lend me that." Clef was watching the library doors anyway. Upon opening the book, Ascot pretended to squint into it, and said, "This is what Clef's doing. 'I must not read like a myopic chicken.' " Clef glared and bopped Ascot hard on the head with his pencil case. "And you're about as smart as a concussed turkey. Now shut up and give me that book."  
  
Just then the library doors opened and a pretty, tall girl, with blue eyes and waist length blue hair strode in with the grace of a model. "Oh good!" Clef got up and hurried to her. "Your girlfriend?" Ascot asked expectantly. "Nah, my cousin, Umi." He replied, as he dragged her towards them. He whispered to Ascot, "No funny ideas, loverboy," and proceeded to berate Umi about being late.   
  
Ascot's eyes were on Umi the whole time till she shot him an icy glare and he hastily broke eye contact. "How many girlfriends have you got, anyway?" asked Eagle, nonchalantly doodling a mangled cartoon of their English teacher, Mrs Pickett, on the report. "Fifteen or so," shrugged Ascot. "Clef?" "I'm about as desirable as a one-eyed fish," the purple haired teenager replied promptly. "I'm only seventeen, thank you very much." "We all know Margot's got her eyes on you," teased Lantis. Clef gave him a very dirty look. Margot Brown was a tall, model-like girl with a head full of gorgeous blonde hair and a face would girls would kill for. However she was said to give blondes a bad name. "Margot?!" said Clef in mock horror. "Ascot's smarter than her, and that's saying something." At that point Umi pulled up a chair beside Clef and dumped a big heavy book on the table.   
  
"Oh great. A thousand pages of illegible text and nothing." Umi slammed the book shut. "What happened to the Spake in all these books?" "Like I was saying," Clef fumed, copying Umi, "original my butt." "Aren't Hikaru and Fuu coming?" questioned Eagle. Hikaru and Fuu were Lantis' and Ferio's girlfriends, in that order. "Class duty," Umi replied. "We be able to see Margot!" said Eagle, winking at Clef. Clef threw the book at him.  
  
Author's Note: Freak...@_@ Long chapter. 


	2. Book Woes

Disclaimer: I haven't got enough money yet. ;-;  
  
~Chapter 2: Book Woes~  
  
"That's it. I surrender," said Clef, chucking the book back into the shelves. "Not ONE single reliable book." He put his pen back into his pencil case. Eagle dropped his head to the book he was reading with a *thud*. "Eagle, what the heck are you reading? It's thicker than my encyclopedia," commented Ferio, smoothing down his hair. Umi returned with books. Tons. "COOKERY books?" groaned Clef. "Umi, you're impossible."  
  
Eagle lifted his head and showed them the cover. Lantis stared. " 'Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens?!" Lantis put his hand to Eagle's forehead. "You SURE you're okay, mate?" Ascot looked at the back page. "Seven hundred and fifty page edition. Anybody got the number of the local mental clinic?" Eagle gave him an ugly look. Just then Hikaru appeared, accompanied by Fuu. Hikaru's eyes had bags under them and she dumped a shower of papers onto the library table. "Hie, Hikaru," said Ascot. "You look like a panda today." "Yeah, and you look like a baboon's arse," Hikaru retorted. "Now leave me alone." Ascot looked like he had just sat on a hedgehog.   
  
Ferio was about to get started on his book report when in came Mrs Pickett. "Oh no," he grumped. "It's Mrs Nit-Pickett." Mrs Pickett was a thin, skinny woman with a mouth as sour as an unripe lemon. In her arms was crammed every single old and reliable copy of Romeo and Juliet. Clef swelled like a bullfrog. "Mean old bi-" "LANGUAGE!" hissed Umi. Clef bit his tongue, and hurriedly corrected himself. "Batty old crone," muttered Lantis. Mrs Pickett saw the group and trooped over. "So, found a book?" she asked sourly. Ferio opened his mouth to say "yes" but Lantis kicked him under the table.   
  
"Ye-No."  
  
"Excuse me, Ferio?"  
  
"No, Mrs Pickett."  
  
Mrs Pickett then sent the whole armful of books on top of Fuu's hand. "Well, chop chop! I want those reports in by tomorrow or it's zero for everyone!" she snapped, sauntering away.  
  
Whilst Ferio helped Fuu get her hand out from the mountain of books, Clef was perusing a faded Romeo and Juliet book, trying to make sense of the jibberish inside. Finally he threw it aside in disgust. "Ugh. *FRENCH*. That book was in *FRENCH*. I feel like throwing my chair at ol' Nit-Picker." "Stop whinin', Clef," muttered Ascot. "I'm going to go get a butter knife." Hikaru looked up. "A butter-knife? Why bother when you've already got one for a nose?" "I'll ignore that sarcastic comment," said Ascot coolly. "I want a butter-knife to puncture my lungs." "Yeah, you go do that," retorted Umi. "We'll all miss you." Ascot's ears turned bright pink and he flung a baking book at Umi.  
  
Author's Notes: ADOI! YES! Chappie 2 is up. Now, be nice and R&R or Schizo may just have to put you at the mercy of the Rabid Pink Fluffy Bunny Slippers. ^~^ See ya. 


	3. Home Economics

Disclaimer: o_o; No, not yet. I'm getting there.  
  
~Chapter 3: Home Economics~  
  
"Today, class, we're making chocolate soufflés! Pair up, please."  
  
Today was Home Economics day. Time for cooking and basic homely duties. All in one place: The HE room.  
  
The pairings:  
  
Umi and Clef (they're cousins, duh.)  
  
Lantis and Hikaru (nuff said.)  
  
Fuu and Ferio. (nuff said, too.)  
  
Eagle and Sierra (Presea's friend's sister.)  
  
Ascot and Caldina (don't ask.)  
  
Other miscellenous un-named pairings I'm too lazy to type.  
  
"Soufflés?" Clef turned to Umi, the baking queen. "Aren't they those delicate little French delights that collapse at loud noises?" "Yes," she replied. "I pity Eagle's partner." Eagle had a reputation for mucking up in HE.  
  
The kitchen was Umi's territory. She and Clef had their soufflé ready to go. Now there was just the little task of that "silence period" where the soufflé had to set. Any vibrations from a loud noise and the delicate dish would collapse.  
  
Eagle trooped past Lantis and Hikaru's table, and their soufflé was setting too.  
  
CLANG.  
  
Eagle tripped and dropped a pan on the floor. The soufflé collapsed. Clef and Umi winced. Their soufflé wobbled a bit. They saw that Eagle and Sierra's soufflé lay in a pathetic pancake shape in the tin.   
  
The teacher, Miss May, frowned. Her soufflé, a fragrant vanilla one, was setting too. She hoped Eagle wouldn't drop something near her, or Clef and Umi as they were right at the front.   
  
Unfortunately for everybody in class, there was Chinese Band practice going on in the next class. One member banged hard on his gong.  
  
Everyone's soufflé collapsed into a sloppy heap.  
  
Miss May stormed over to the next class and began shouting at the top of her voice. Ferio picked at his soufflé disheartendly. Clef chewed a small bit, and with great difficulty, swallowed. "Tastes exactly like cardboard," he muttered, coughing hard. "How'd you know?" asked Lantis as Hikaru jabbed holes in the soufflé angrily with her fork. "Presea tricked me into eating a whole chunk of cardboard when I was four. I thought it was chocolate," Clef said.   
  
Author's Note: -imagines baby Clef choking on cardboard- XD 


	4. Eeeyagh!

**Disclaimer: CLAMP's not mine, unfortunately.**

**Postscript: I forgot to mention, that the charries will be OOC, but not _too_ much, and it's an AU fic. Stupid, stupid me. -___-U**

**_~Chapter 4: Eeeyagh!~_**

****

"That's the last thing that should've happened today," snuffled Umi, still very upset with Eagle for making the soufflé collapse. _"What?"_ snapped Eagle. "It's just a stupid soufflé." _"Just a stupid soufflé?"__ Umi rounded on him. "Knock it off, you two," said Clef, pulling Umi away from Eagle just as Lantis did the same, except to Eagle, of course. "Really…you're worse than a cat and a dog fighting." "Yeah," said Lantis. "Somebody's got to back off." "And it might as well be me?" Eagle was appalled. "It's more gentlemanly," said Ascot. "Off the subject," interrupted Hikaru, "what's the next period?" Clef handed her his timetable; she took one look and shrieked. __"Choir?" Everyone froze. "Did you just say…__choir?" Umi asked, her face paling. "Yes," said Clef, "that is what she said." "Come on," said Larfarga. "Surely it can't be __that bad." "It can be that bad," said Caldina, "when _you're_ the one singing." Larfarga turned ash grey._

"Cousin, if I have to put up with another forty-five minutes of Miss Cappela's piano playing, remind me to stab myself later after this," said Umi to Clef. "Yeah, with what?" her purple-haired cousin added cynically. Eagle leaned over. "What's wrong with Miss Cappela's playing?" he asked. "You were absent last time, right?" asked Larfarga. "Yes," Eagle said. "But what's that got to do with Miss Cappela's 'horrible' playing?" "Last week, she took assembly," said Clef. "Oh the horror. Anyway, you could hardly call her playing satisfactory, I'd bet a monkey could play Beethoven's ninth symphony with its feet better than Miss Cappela playing _Turkey in the Straw!" "Half the time she wasn't playing," said Fuu bitterly. "She was hitting __clunkers. Hardly music, innit?" "Just as the saying goes, 'Seeing is believing', I'm going to have to hear Miss Cappela's playing myself," Eagle snorted. "Shouldn't it be, '_Hearing_ is believing'?" snickered Clef. "Oh, __shut up." Eagle kicked the back of Clef's chair._

_Wham._

The door of the music room slammed open. Everybody winced. Miss Cappela thought it absolutely necessary to do that every time to get her students' attention. On one occasion, however, her "attention-grabber" resulted in a broken nose of Sierra's; she had been standing behind the door putting up posters for last year's music festival. There had been a fairly nasty lawsuit.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand…

"Ok, class, today we're going to do _piano-songs_!" Miss Cappela squealed in her girlish breathy voice. Everybody groaned. The funny thing was, Miss Cappela thought it was a murmur of assent, so she whipped out her piano book, propped it up, and slapped her fat behind upon the piano chair. (Did I tell you? Miss Cappela is obese. D) _Oh no, thought Clef, _enter Clunkers-ville._ "I should've brought ear-plugs," muttered Ferio under his breath. "All right class!" squeaked Miss Cappela, "take out your music books!" Ruffling of papers._

"What song is it, Miss Cappela?" asked Sierra in a falsely sweet voice. Somebody sniggered. Miss Cappela ignored the snigger and answered Sierra. "_Turkey__ in the Straw, m'dear," she answered. Clef and Umi exchanged highly pained looks. Behind and beside them many of the other students did the same. Again, this went un-noticed by Miss Cappela. (Amazing how dense she actually is. Ditz.) Miss Cappela placed her stubby fingers upon the piano, and began playing. __Note, note, note, **clunk, note, note, **clunk, clunk, clunk**. When she stopped, Clef and Lantis removed their fingers from their ears. Miss Cappela swivelled around on the piano chair. "Did you all enjoy that tune, kids?" _Kids?_**__ The students winced inwardly. Miss Cappela watched them eagerly, expecting an answer. Instead she got stony looks. The silence was broken by a loud, rattling snore coming from a pimply-faced boy at the end of the last row. Miss Cappela swelled like a bullfrog, and she looked fatter than before._

"Miserable old bat!!" stormed Ferio. "Just because old Pimple-face fell asleep during her lesson we _all_ have to do extra music homework." "Crud…look at what we have to do," muttered Hikaru. She was holding Fuu's notes. "Compose a simple tune…draw a picture involving the treble clef…write this sheet of letter-music into notes…" "_Notes? Oh no, I'm going to go cross-eyed," groaned Clef. "Maybe Presea can help us?" suggested Umi. "Unlikely," said Clef. "My sister hates music just as much as I do." "Makes you wonder, doesn't it?" said Eagle cynically. "Cheer up, everyone," said Fuu. "It's break after this, you know!"_


End file.
